Worse Than Death

Honestly, I do not fear death. It’s not scary to me. But there are two things that I consider worse than death. Babies and Prison. These are two things I don’t mess around with and don’t take any risk in happening to me. Both take away your freedom and ruin your life (Note: I want to have kids but way down the line).

Here is the case and point for Prison:

I ran a call to a courthouse jail for a male difficulty breather. I was first on scene and when I entered the jail I came upon a six foot five three hundred pound brick house of an inmate, sitting on the floor crying hysterically.

Amidst my confusion, the Sheriff came over to me and whispered in my ear that this man just learned he got 50 to Life in Prison. He was hyperventilating so much they had to call 911.

This man was sobbing in a way I’ve never heard before. His life was over and he knew it. I don’t know what his crime was, but to warrant that level of punishment it must have been violent and substantial. Yet at that moment, there was no pride, no disregard for society, or contempt for the establishment. Rather, pure sorrow and regret. He had ruined his life, and he knew it. Normally a rather imposing man was broken down to a bawling child. It was incredibly sad to watch.

Looking towards a career in law enforcement, I don’t really sympathize with people who commit heinous crimes. But in that moment, I genuinely felt sorry for this man. His life was over. He will die in prison, all for mistakes he made.  Mistakes I could tell he genuinely regretted and would do anything to take back. But time only moves forward and the choices we make in a single moment can destroy our lives.

Now that is scary.